While I was doing research on adult survivors of physical abuse, I came upon a description in a paper that really touched my heart. Seems that 30% of children physically abused end up in jail. And about 30% are considered the “dandelions.” These are the children that survived their childhood and went on to become amazingly successful and do great things with their lives.
There is much written and many support groups for sexually abused children that are adults now, but very little information about the children who survived true physical and emotional child abuse without the sexual factor. I am one of those survivors. Apparently there is a scale of 1 to 5. The only reason that I am not a 5 is that I was not permanently crippled or dead. I have come to realize that the only reason I survived is that I am damn hard to kill. I still have challenges in figuring out what are healthy emotions and even figuring out how I feel. For me standing in the question of what is “normal” is an everyday question.
I have heard all the BS about choosing your parents and your experiences, but for those who have not lived through these experiences, really, you just need to be quiet. There is no excuse for child torcher. Yet it happens every day.
I am a Dandelion. I don’t share my stories, most people either don’t want to hear it or for the people who would really understand it is just too painful. I have flashbacks. I keep myself safe. I am gentle with myself. I have come so far. I am proud of myself and even with the scars I have, they made me more compassionate for others. I think there should be a support group for us Dandelions and Thrivers for the moments that we are afraid, need support and love in a safe environment.
It would also be nice to know who of us is a Dandelion, and who loves and supports us. I am posting a Dandelion on my page to bring awareness to the adult survivors and thrives of physical and emotional abuse that occurs and how wonderful it is that we are healing ourselves every day.
Please share freely,
Author of Bubbles and Billy Sandwalker